In the words of Ludacris…
What’s YOUR fantasy? Cue back button for those of you who ended up here thanks to a massive search engine fail…sorry man. For those of you still with me, it’s time for a long overdue fantasy football post. I’ve been playing fantasy for a few years now at an average of 4-5 leagues per year, and I’m far from an expert on the subject. In fact, this is my official disclaimer for those of you who started playing fantasy before the Internet existed when results came via snail mail – you know more than me. So instead of scoffing in fantasy elitism, I invite you to join the discussion…
Which brings me to the purpose of this post. Fantasy football is a game. WE are the owners, GMs and commissioners of the NFL. We don’t have a dictator coughROGERcough telling us what rules to follow. I’ve been in both standard and customized leagues, and it’s time to revolutionize the standard. Just because the NFL allows ties in an awful set of overtime rules doesn’t mean you have to suffer as well! (Confusing McNabb further is a small price to pay for such freedom) Your league settings don’t let you get rid of kickers? Start a petition and wage war against such tyranny! Break the chains and take control of your fantasy! (yes, pun intended.)
Now that I’ve reached my exclamation point quota, here are my recommendations to optimize your fantasy football experience:
gimme my 0.9 points!
9 yards should not equal 0 points. I’m confident that we’ve all made it past 3rd grade math (right?) and can comprehend partial points in scoring. There’s no reason to maintain standard scoring when all it does is perpetuate ties and infuriate those of us who own receivers stranded on Revis Island.
2) Eliminate “Points Allowed” from standings
I understand we’re trying to simulate the NFL, but Points Allowed has to be the most ridiculous stat in fantasy. You have absolutely NO control over your opponent’s score, except for coincidental cases of your defense going up against their QB. Points allowed shouldn’t even take up column space in a standings table, much less have any sort of tiebreaker impact.
I…I don’t understand.
all I want is to be appreciated.
Receivers are one of the more frustrating players in fantasy football, and are severely devalued in standard scoring leagues. Easy fix? Update your scoring to PPR. It adds value to slot receivers like Welker who are key players on their teams but don’t do much for you in fantasy. PPR leagues also force you away from the RB-heavy draft strategy by giving you a lot more high-scoring receiver options. The NFL is a pass-happy league and it makes sense to adjust the way you play fantasy accordingly.
4) Kill the kickers! With pitchforks and torches!
…or just send them to Dallas, the hellhole for kickers. (Anyone else having visions of Jerry Jones as a Death Eater greeting kickers with open arms? No?) Despite the love-hate relationship most fans have with their kickers, I’m only talking fantasy here, so you can un-wield your weapons. WHY do we still have kickers in fantasy?! There is zero strategy involved in drafting and playing kickers, and those of you who stupidly drafted a kicker before the last round in your draft either agree now or are just too dumb to be playing fantasy. It’s the only position that’s decided purely on luck, and any self-respecting fantasy player would rather focus on their impeccable tactics than spend an hour trying to determine whether Brady’s offense will deliver enough to warrant sitting Gostkowski. So let’s take the plunge and bid farewell to the most aggravating position in fantasy!
tonight…you die.
MORE DRAFTS! MOOOORE!!!!
Playoffs are the most anticlimactic experience in fantasy football. Instead of being rewarded for drafting well and working the waiver wires, you can end up losing the championship because the Colts rested their starters for the real playoffs. No one should win their league because they grabbed Peyton’s backup off waivers. My ultimate solution? Have a playoffs draft. Your current roster got you this far, now it’s time to re-strategize and prove your skills in a fair setting. Hold a draft the week of the playoffs with all NFL players on the board, and eliminate bench positions to spice it up. It’ll be the most exciting part of the season, and people out of the playoffs might actually watch the draft and follow the results.
This list is just a start, post your fantasy football fantasies below!
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